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rachel

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these rules are made to break us all. [Nov. 18th, 2006|09:53 pm]
rachel
[current mood |thoughtfulthoughtful]
[current music |the hush sound-momentum]

i am sick of unhealthy relationships. no more.
i miss having that connection with someone.
or at least feeling like i have it.

my heart is in peices..and they are scattered in new england.
1000 fucking miles away.
less than 30 days until i am happy for a whole month.


but a decision has to be made..ugh.



you are the dark ocean bottom and i am the fast sinking anchor. should i fall for you. you are the scar on my tissue that i show all of my new friends. should i show you me. all we need is a little bit of momentum. breakdown these walls that we’ve built around ourselves. all we need is a little bit of inertia. breakdown and tell breakdown and tell that you are the rain on the fire. deep in the trees when no one was looking. should i speak of this. you are a mirage in the distance that defies the heat of the desert. should i believe in you. these rules are made to break and these walls are built to fall. these rules are made to break us all.
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were flat broke but hey we do it in style. [Nov. 14th, 2006|06:47 am]
rachel
[current mood |hopefulhopeful]
[current music |new radicals-get what you give]

this whole damn world can fall apart.
you'll be ok follow your heart.
you're in harms way.
i'm right behind.
now say youre mine.


i got a new job as a secretary at an investment firm. not really a new one actually, just a second one to fill up my days more and get me that much closer to items such as the betsey johnson parfume, and the juicy purse i want. only the top two things on my long list.

i am running on about two hours of sleep. i start at 9 and you think id get a good nights sleep. but nope..im a sucker for a sexy boy who treats me like shit. but it was a good night. back in the game rachel? not quite yet.

i feel like i am all jumbled up lately. one second my mind is made up..the next it is in shambles. i'm trying really. it is just hard when you feel like you have two seperate lives.

bed would be a good idea.
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had a few drinks, we all felt inspired. [Nov. 13th, 2006|08:09 am]
rachel
[current mood |nostalgicnostalgic]
[current music |get up kids-campfire campus]

i thought i'd try this again. fresh new journal..fresh new start.

for some reason i thought about live journal the other day. so i went on to see if anyone uses it anymore. my last post was september of 2005. i read my old journal entries for about 3 hours. crazy how my life has changed and weird how i have like 5 years of my life documented online.

i now live in south florida. i am no longer with the boy i love and thought id marry since age 13. i barely talk to alot of the people who used to hold important places in my life. but i have new surroundings, new friends, new job, new school, new apartment, new crushes, new interests etc. and i don't think i am that bad off. however some changes are missed more then others.

do i miss him? everyday.

so i thought i'd give this thing another shot. maybe its therepeutic to get your thoughts out sometimes. or maybe it will just fill some empty time slots.

either way..

our boats collide, we feel the breeze, we stay afloat and make the most of everything. the sun will set, the stars would shine, the trees would shake, we'd all feel fine. let's take the moon and make it shine for everyone. we'd laugh away the sunburn as we laughed away this day. what we lost means nothing for the memories will stay.
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